Sunday, April 08, 2007

Saturday, February 24, 2007


An addition to my last entry.

People who say tat: It's not a "tat" it's a fucking "tattoo". The word stems from the Samoan word "tatau", the syllable "ta" meaning "hand" and "u" means "color". As one can obviously fucking see, "tat" means absolutely fucking nothing. Now go back to your... I'm sorry, what do you do for a living, tat-person? Oh that's right. FUCKING NOTHING. Because if you feel the need to call it a "tat", then it's probably not stylish, something related to your ancestral culture, a private symbol of your affection for your significant other, or any other of the good reasons to get a tattoo. No, you got it because you "think" (that is, if you are, in fact, capable of true thought) it will make you "cool". But no, all it fucking does is prevent you from getting any kind of worthwhile employment. Because you look like a jackass. Is your "tat" worth it now?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Things That Fucking Piss Me Off

Or Test to see how many times I can curse in one entry.

  • "Fcuk": It's spelled "fuck" goddammit. You think you're so cool that you can wear a shirt that says "fuck" in public and have it fall under the radar of parents with young children? It still says "fuck", asshole, misspelling it doesn't make it any less inappropriate.

  • Eminem: "Know what I'm saying?" Fuck no you fucking piece of shit. You're a short, skinny, blonde, white kid from the suburbs. What in gods fuck do you have to complain about? "Oh, my mommy drove me to school every day and now I have to talk [editor's note: not sing] into a microphone about my troubles as an adult." Does anyone remember the last popular white rapper? Vanilla Fucking Ice. That's who.

  • People Magazine: There are fucking dozens of magazines which are guilty of this, but People gets to me in particular. These magazines focus solely on the fucking day to day lives of celebrities? You find that interesting? Well we all have our disgusting habits. But People only talks about celebrities. Am... am I not a person? Do I not feel? Do I not laugh when I'm happy, cry when I'm sad? Or as I some quasi-corporeal chunk of non-existence whose sole purpose is to read about how Mary Kate Fucking Olsen has xylophone-like ribs, or that Britney Spears has gotten another fucking divorce, or the Jennifer Aniston and Friends love triangle is now a fucking dodecahedron? That's a 12-sided figure. That's more players than a fucking porn movie.

  • Hmm... Fourteen fucking fucks. Err... sixteen.