Addendum

An addition to my last entry.

People who say tat: It's not a "tat" it's a fucking "tattoo". The word stems from the Samoan word "tatau", the syllable "ta" meaning "hand" and "u" means "color". As one can obviously fucking see, "tat" means absolutely fucking nothing. Now go back to your... I'm sorry, what do you do for a living, tat-person? Oh that's right. FUCKING NOTHING. Because if you feel the need to call it a "tat", then it's probably not stylish, something related to your ancestral culture, a private symbol of your affection for your significant other, or any other of the good reasons to get a tattoo. No, you got it because you "think" (that is, if you are, in fact, capable of true thought) it will make you "cool". But no, all it fucking does is prevent you from getting any kind of worthwhile employment. Because you look like a jackass. Is your "tat" worth it now?

Things That Fucking Piss Me Off

Or Test to see how many times I can curse in one entry.

• "Fcuk": It's spelled "fuck" goddammit. You think you're so cool that you can wear a shirt that says "fuck" in public and have it fall under the radar of parents with young children? It still says "fuck", asshole, misspelling it doesn't make it any less inappropriate.



• Eminem: "Know what I'm saying?" Fuck no you fucking piece of shit. You're a short, skinny, blonde, white kid from the suburbs. What in gods fuck do you have to complain about? "Oh, my mommy drove me to school every day and now I have to talk [editor's note: not sing] into a microphone about my troubles as an adult." Does anyone remember the last popular white rapper? Vanilla Fucking Ice. That's who.



• People Magazine: There are fucking dozens of magazines which are guilty of this, but People gets to me in particular. These magazines focus solely on the fucking day to day lives of celebrities? You find that interesting? Well we all have our disgusting habits. But People only talks about celebrities. Am... am I not a person? Do I not feel? Do I not laugh when I'm happy, cry when I'm sad? Or as I some quasi-corporeal chunk of non-existence whose sole purpose is to read about how Mary Kate Fucking Olsen has xylophone-like ribs, or that Britney Spears has gotten another fucking divorce, or the Jennifer Aniston and Friends love triangle is now a fucking dodecahedron? That's a 12-sided figure. That's more players than a fucking porn movie.


Hmm... Fourteen fucking fucks. Err... sixteen.

Chimera

Also known as "Darmok II: Bride of Darmok"

As any of you who use iTunes know, it comes bundled with QuickTime.

I don't use QuickTime. I don't like it. You have to pay to get full use of it, plus I have a video player that plays every format under the Tuscan Sun which, by a freaky coincidence, happens to be our sun.

So you can understand why I would uninstall QuickTime.

Unfortunately, "iTunes requires QuickTime. Please reinstall iTunes."

Thanks, Apple, your marketing division pisses me off once again.

Family

I shall name my daughter Insaniti. And my son Bauss. And together, they shall be known as The Offspring of a Sexist Father.

My rant for this evening will be sexism. No, not the classical patriarchial type, but the modern sexism that guys have to deal with. Misandry. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe that women are the better sex. I dislike men. I dislike being a man (again, don't get me wrong, my sexual preference is women regardless of my own gender). However, I don't believe that women have the right to excercise any form of superiority. As a Newfoundlander, I know that the average Newfie can't hold a stick to the intelligence of... Well, a stick. But if anybody not from Newfoundland said that, then my fist would be the first (of many) being placed between their ears. Likewise, as a man, I'm allowed to say that men are sick, disgusting, and ugly.

And so, all you XX's out there, I give you a piece of advice: if a guy treats you like gold, even if he has every reason not to, do your best to keep him feeling like shit. More than likely, he doesn't mind going with you to do stuff you like, like shopping. But he doesn't understand how you can spend 3 hours every 4 days looking through underwear, when the only person who's ever going to see it is going to want to rip it off of you. And if the guy you take shopping is not the one who gets to take your clothes off, make sure he knows that he's a friend being taken along shopping and not a boyfriend to carry stuff. As far as the mall goes, male friends stand with you, boyfriends stand behind you. Don't get the two confused.

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

It all started some four years ago. A device was designed and was heralded and was widely considered the bext hunk of plastic and metal since the four-slice toaster. This device was revised and much improved three times over the following years, and alas, it had attained perfection. The only way to make it better was to make it cheaper; over time, production costs would lower as they always do and they could lower the cost of this perfect divice and allow many more people to bathe in its glory (as the price tag, though not overly high, was just outside the budget of many middle-class people). And this happened. The cost of producing this device was well under the price tag, and so profit margins were much higher than predicted.

This device is, of course, the Apple iPod. By it's fourth generation, it was perfect. I suppose the harddrive could be improved, or the battery life, but every device could use those improvements. But then when Apple decided to give its customers a break, they only gave customers with big pockets a break. They introduced iPod photo. It had three times the storage space and a color screen. You could view photos stored on the harddrive with it, but with a 2" screen and a $600 sticker (indeed, most of whom that could afford one casually probably already had a digital camera and/or cameraphone anyway, which can take pictures as well as view them), it was mostly a gimmicky cash draw. Okay, as useless as this was, the perfection-embodied black-and-white 20GB model was still offered, so let the baby have her bottle. iPod photo was not as big a mistake (in my opinion, 'cause these mistakes prevent me from owning one) as the following two.

Apple gave, again, people a break. This time they targeted existing potential iPod (base model) buyers, by giving the base model a color screen. Hmm... Let's see... Color screen is more expensive, base model stayed at the same price, therefore the base model with b&w screen should've cost less... Yes, it should have. But it didn't. Apple never brought in any new buyers, only gave potential buyers a gimmicky incentive that they wouldn't have any use for anyway.

And again, another break. Again, no lowering of price, but the new components definately cost more. These include a bigger, higher resolution, more refreshed screen; a bigger standard harddrive (30GB), a slightly smaller form factor, longer battery life, and Firewire support removed completely. All this makes each iPod cost about as much extra as they became cheaper to produce. Again, Apple could've brought in many new customers by making the iPod more affordable but they didn't. And so I still don't got one.

I reckon that, were Apple to reintroduce the black & white 20GB 4G iPod, it would retail for probably $250. With education discount, I could get an iPod for $342 Cdn, and I'd say that the high-def screen and other improvements tally $100 or so. The only thing is, the iPod Nano 4GB goes for $281, after the same discount. But I guess Apple has to make some incentive for their superfluous device (the smaller size of Mini/Nano is not worth the small price difference, especially considering the comparatively little storage space).

Alright, so this is what I call a "rant". Basically, all my entries will take one of a few forms. They may be psychosocialogical consequences of simple Physics (or any other science) concepts, such as the previous post. I might go on a spiel about companies disappointing me or impressing me. A humerous anecdote from time to time. Or maybe something completely different. What I won't do is talk about me. That will be over on my personal blog, and that tends to get boring.