Just days after President Bush's public breakdown at the possibility of a woman president, the election is over and the results are coming in.
Like any other election, the nation was cleanly divided amongst Blues and Reds, only now they use Lavender and Pink. The move to change the colors of the two major political parties (Democratic and Republican, respectively) was an executive order by Bush as a last-ditch effort to prevent either candidate from being voted. He made this order after returning from his monthly hunting trip. "The Office of the President is a full-time job. You can't just skip off for a week every month." Bush supporters speculate that he does not hate women, but admitting hatred of the two candidates is a sign of weakness.
Late last year, controversy arose during the FOX special, "Presidential Deathmatch". During the final round, President Bush faced former President William Clinton in a traditional Kentucky knife-fight. Things became bloody when Hilary Clinton entered the ring and drop-kicked the president, and then kneed her husband in the testicles when he tried to pinch her buttocks in celebration. President Bush has resented Senator Clinton since then, publicly insulting her on many occasions during her campaign, and also recently divorced his wife Laura for refusing FOX's request for a "First Lady Deathmatch" which would have focused on a Samurai-themed duel between Hilary and Laura.
As well, former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was fired by President Bush in early 2007 for refusing to support his "Three Term" campaign. Bush has also been publicly outspoken against the Republican Party's nomination of Rice.
The voting results were very close. Republican Party candidate Condoleezza Rice earned 49% of electoral votes, while Democratic Party candidate Senator Hilary Clinton took 48%. The remaining 3% were claimed by other parties, the lowest in recent years. Senator Clinton admitted defeat in a rather peculiar way. Firstly, the conversation with Rice occurred via instant messaging, using Google's "Google Talk" service. As well, Clinton did not admit defeat. In an extreme, unexplained mood swing, she insulted Rice and resigned from candidacy.
Condoleezza Rice is scheduled to be sworn in as the first female and first African-American President of the United States on January 20th, 2009. However, President Bush has refused to leave office, even though law requires him to.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2006
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Life, the Universe, and All That Jazz
Somewhere in the western spiral arm of the galaxy (though to be fair, “west” depends entirely on whichever orientation the main axis of your body is in and, more importantly, the direction the majority of your heads are looking) lies a small blue/green planet inhabited by the descendants of an ape-like species. The average individual of this species is quite intelligent, having developed nuclear fission before the amazingly simple digital watch. However, on the whole, the species is mindbogglingly stupid, fighting countless wars over some “God” fellow and letting one man subtly dictate what would become possibly the most important technology for a good many years. This man is known to the people as Douglas Adams.
This technology is the Internet. Although Adams certainly did not invent the Internet, he imagined a system much like it, possibly without knowing so. The Internet is essentially a network of devices that allows information to be transmitted instantaneously across the globe. "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Adams' signature book, features something called the “Sub Etha Net.” The Sub Etha Net allowed for information to be transmitted almost instantaneously across the Galaxy. Developed just a few years earlier from the time of writing was a technology known as “ethernet”, which has become the de facto standard for networking computers. The similarities between “Sub Etha Net” and Internet over ethernet are astounding, from naming (from “aether”, the substance once thought to fill space) to concept (instantaneous transmission of information). It is unlikely that Adams was aware of what would become of the Internet, but perhaps the similarities influenced his readers to adapt the technologies and increase the popularity to the level that it has reached.
A major component of the Internet is the search engine. A single computer that will instantaneously look through all the computers on the network and find exactly what you are looking for. From music and movies to math and physics to how to get a date with a tree, there is very little information known to humans that cannot be found on the Internet. Search engines appeared much after "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" was written, but may have been inspired by the other fictional device, the device for which the book was named: "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy". The fictional "Guide" was a book-sized device that could display information on any subject, from music and movies to math and physics to how to get a date with a tree, just by asking for it. Again, the similarities are striking. The probability of Adams predicting two very important technologies is very low, and perhaps even less probable is that a major theme in the real Guide was probability.
His influence extends even further throughout time. Forty-two, the arbitrarily chosen Ultimate Answer, is an important number in religion and even Adams' own life, adding to the improbability. Perhaps forty-two truly is the Answer, and humankind just hasn't realized it yet.
I wrote this for a scholarship essay, and I must say I'm quite proud of it. In three high school and two university English courses this is, by far, the best piece of prose I've ever written.
This technology is the Internet. Although Adams certainly did not invent the Internet, he imagined a system much like it, possibly without knowing so. The Internet is essentially a network of devices that allows information to be transmitted instantaneously across the globe. "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Adams' signature book, features something called the “Sub Etha Net.” The Sub Etha Net allowed for information to be transmitted almost instantaneously across the Galaxy. Developed just a few years earlier from the time of writing was a technology known as “ethernet”, which has become the de facto standard for networking computers. The similarities between “Sub Etha Net” and Internet over ethernet are astounding, from naming (from “aether”, the substance once thought to fill space) to concept (instantaneous transmission of information). It is unlikely that Adams was aware of what would become of the Internet, but perhaps the similarities influenced his readers to adapt the technologies and increase the popularity to the level that it has reached.
A major component of the Internet is the search engine. A single computer that will instantaneously look through all the computers on the network and find exactly what you are looking for. From music and movies to math and physics to how to get a date with a tree, there is very little information known to humans that cannot be found on the Internet. Search engines appeared much after "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" was written, but may have been inspired by the other fictional device, the device for which the book was named: "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy". The fictional "Guide" was a book-sized device that could display information on any subject, from music and movies to math and physics to how to get a date with a tree, just by asking for it. Again, the similarities are striking. The probability of Adams predicting two very important technologies is very low, and perhaps even less probable is that a major theme in the real Guide was probability.
His influence extends even further throughout time. Forty-two, the arbitrarily chosen Ultimate Answer, is an important number in religion and even Adams' own life, adding to the improbability. Perhaps forty-two truly is the Answer, and humankind just hasn't realized it yet.
I wrote this for a scholarship essay, and I must say I'm quite proud of it. In three high school and two university English courses this is, by far, the best piece of prose I've ever written.
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